Ease Work Stress

At my job at the zoo, I hear a lot of visitors complain about work stress. The smart ones look to me for some advice. Sure, I work seven days a week, even on holidays, but I keep mellow. In fact, my name, Chúnhòu, is the Chinese word for “mellow”.

Zoo visitors are always violating zoo policies and taking my picture with their cell phones. They think nothing of commenting on every aspect of my appearance and behavior, and they always want to be entertained. That’s a lot of pressure. To survive all this, I developed a thick fur over my thin skin.

Seven Tips to Ease Work Stress

  1. Take frequent breaks. I spend most of my day sleeping or eating bamboo. This gives me plenty of stamina to deliver entertaining performances when a crowd assembles in front of my exhibit.
  2. Don’t take it personally. Visitors love to criticize and complain. I pay attention to the feedback that helps me improve my work performance and ignore the rest. Who cares? What do they know anyway?
  3. Stay away work gossip. I pay no mind to the polar bears’ silly chatter about the giraffes. They are just jealous of the giraffe’s long necks. You will never hear me spread rumors about the elephant trainers of the tigers. I keep my thoughts to myself.
  4. Freshen your talents. Each week, I devote a couple of hours to perfecting my climbing skills. Sometimes I get a little coaching from my trainer.
  5. Strive for excellence. Forget perfection – it’s an illusion.
  6. Dump the excuses. If workers spent half the time doing their jobs that they spend making excuses about why they don’t do their jobs, they would be a lot more productive.
  7. Have fun! If you don’t like your job, find one that you do like. That seems obvious even to a bear.

Okay. I worked enough.  Time for a snooze.